Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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