Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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