this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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