if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
