We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
