I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
