I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
