Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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