he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
