her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just took my morning after pill in the library
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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