the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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