they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize