You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
