I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize