Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
