Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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