you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
