Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
