Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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