Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize