no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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