Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
