My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
