Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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