I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
