My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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