He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
