You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
