yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
