Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
