She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
