benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize