All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
