Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
