Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
