its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need moral support for this bender
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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