I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
