do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
