I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
