this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
