I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
