Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
