I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
