The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
