Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
