Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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