Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
