I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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