Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
