I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
