wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
