Swine flu. Run for my life!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
