super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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