Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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