Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
