Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
