The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize