Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
