Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
