I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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