found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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