her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
