i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
