I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do vagina's smell?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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