his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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