was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
